I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
