Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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