I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
