grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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