That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
