our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
