She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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