You made me cry and you don't even care
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
