Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
