it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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