Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
