I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
