A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fuck appropriateness.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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