NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
