She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
