I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
