I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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