Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
