How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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