At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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