so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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