apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
