Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
