we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We got so high we made milksteak
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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