I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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