how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
