those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
