we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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