Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
