Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize