Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
