OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
