when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
