Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
