What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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