This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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