Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
