Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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