Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
