I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
