guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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