Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
