i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
