i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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