they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also, beer. Big fan.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
