wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
