we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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