Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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