Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
