He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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