Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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