You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
