We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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