I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
