If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
